Lighten the Fuck Up! Italy Has So Much to Offer...
A man went to his regular barber to get a haircut and while the barber was busy cutting his hair they began talking like they always do…
The man revealed, “In a few weeks my wife and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. We've always wanted to go to Italy to enjoy some authentic Italian food, take in the sights, and so we've booked a week-long trip.”
“Don’t bother” replied the barber, “The whole city has been overrun by fast-food chains. There's a McDonald’s on every corner and there’s nowhere to get authentic Italian food anymore”…
“Oh…” The man continued excitedly, “Well, me and my wife are big fans of architecture. We want to see the old ruins and remains of ancient Rome and really soak in some of those incredible sights”.
“Don’t bother” replied the barber, “They’re tearing all those ancient buildings down and it’s just a bunch of ugly steel buildings and nothing special anymore.”
“I see…” said the man, who by now was becoming a little downtrodden. “Well, at least we can go to the Vatican and see the Pope. We’re both very religious and we're extremely excited to see him”…
“Don’t bother” the barber said yet again. “It’s usually so crowded that you’ll be lucky if you can see the tip of his hat. The whole trip sounds like a waste of time to me…”
Despite the barber’s warnings, the man and his wife flew to Rome for their anniversary.
A few weeks later, the man went back to the barber for a haircut, and, once again, they started talking like they always do…
The man proudly revealed to the barber that he and his wife just returned from their trip to Rome…
“Oh, and how was the food there?” asked the barber in a curious tone.
“It was great! There was so much incredible pasta, fresh seafood, and authentic Italian pizza! We had delicious gelato after every meal and some of the best espresso we've ever had. It was the most delicious food we've ever tasted in our entire lives.”
“That sounds nice” admitted the barber, “but what about the architecture?”
“The architecture was breath-taking. We barely had time to see half of the amazing sights that Rome had to offer. We saw the Coliseum and the Trevi Fountain, walked all around the beautiful Villa Borghese Gardens, visited the Capuchin Crypts, toured the Sistine Chapel, and we hung out at the spectacular Piazza Barberini.”
“I see…” replied the still skeptical barber, “and the Pope?”
“Well, we went to the Vatican and there was a huge sea of people that made it difficult to see. And just like you said, we could only see the tip of his hat until he raised his pastoral staff and pointed it right at me and my wife…The crowd parted and made a pathway for him. He looked right at me and shouted ‘YOU!’ and then proceeded to make his way towards me. He walked right up to me, leaned in close, and asked, 'Who the FUCK gave you that awful haircut?’”
* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968